The many Languages that I speak

Learnt today that I speak more languages than I think. What?

Yup

Every interest you have can be a vehicle for the gospel. 

You speak many languages. There is no need for dictionaries and grammar

Share the gospel through every communication possible to those who need to hear it.

One inspirational reading found today:

1 John 1:5-10

King James Version (KJV)

⁵ This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

⁶ If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

⁸ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

¹⁰ If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Lessons learnt today

Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a season for everything.
Especially with God, your ministry, your spiritual life.

Learn to be patient with God and yourself. 

You may be in a hurry but God isn't, he is always on time.

He will take your entire lifetime to prepare you for life in eternity.

Its always got to be God's time. Just wait patiently praying.

Confirms what Stee said to me yesterday how we've always been talking about it

Maybe its God's timing now for something to be done about it

But lets pray and wait on him.

Its going to be his season of change.

He's going to make it happen

He's going to bring it to pass.

It might not feel like anything is happening, it might not feel like it

But trust in God, wait on God

I suppose we gotta learn from the example of waiting on God for Jitoko to get a job.

379days of waiting and God answered.

Might have been that long for us but it was God's timing for him.

Always always trust on God's timing and wait for him to move first.

learning to write down what insights God is bringing to me about life, me and everything else.

Missing My SUIS today

Can't say I am missing suva but I definitely am missing my SUIS days and my SUIS kids and all the SUIS people. I suppose you could call it homesick. It was my home. Here's to hoping this video goes viral and heres to hoping something big happens for SUIS this year.

There's nothing like watching young people come to the Lord and watching them grow up in the things of God knowing what it is that God has called them to and living life to their full purpose. Miss those days!

Big for August

Thinking about planning something big for August but not sure what kind of support and resources I will have at my disposal to do it.
Stee wants me & Jitoko to coordinate SUIS in the west.
Not sure how that will sit with our pastors and how that will affect our commitment level and time with Jaydon.
I don't think it will.
I think it will be good for Change as well but not sure about the pastors.
I still think a quarterly program like synergy will grow the church.
What's the use of having such great speakers coming into the country if you do not have a platform readily available where they can minister to future leaders of this country.
Imagine a quarterly program run in every city.
It could come under the church umbrella and then then have a nationwide conference where speakers to the C3 conference get an opportunity to speak to young people from the different youth groups nationwide.
Going back to what I had in mind for August and how to speak to the leaders on what God has called us to and how that fits into what the church vision is.
Fedup of all this bickering.
That's the whole reason why church is not growing.
Any potential for growth is shut down with politics and people opinions and what and how and who.
All this is because people are not praying and reading there bible.
How smart of the devil to distract people with this and that and he did this and I don't like that.
If only people started doing things for the glory of God instead of their own personal gains and self worth.
If only people prayed. We'd have the world falling all over itself just to get to church. Nowadays anybody entering church is disappointed to see that the church is the one that is downgrading and degrading and demoralising. I like this reading I found today. Its so profound. If only the church would hear it: by Rick Warren: Stop trying to win arguments. Its totally true.
Even the verse:
 "I beg you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to stop arguing among yourselves. Let there be real harmony so that there won’t be splits in the church. I plead with you to be of one mind, united in thought and purpose." (1 Corinthians 1:10 LB)
So true. Jesus tried to show us let love guide us.
Guidelines that I will now try to follow:

• Let mercy guide your response (Proverbs 3:3–6). In a conflict, most of us say we only want what’s fair, but God’s approach isn’t about being fair. It’s about grace and mercy (Romans 5:8).
• Let God determine the truth (2 Corinthians 13:8). The truth is not determined by your thoughts or feelings (1 John 4:1) or the opinions of others. Truth is what God says it is; he is the sole authority for interpreting any situation (2 Corinthians 10:5).
• The Bible says we shouldn’t rely on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5), that what appears to be right to us may very well be wrong (Proverbs 14:12).
• Look for God’s presence (Matthew 28:20). Satan wants us to believe we’re in the battle alone. Follow the example of the young shepherd boy, David, who believed God was in the fight and that the battle belonged to the Lord (1 Samuel 17:47).
• Look for the conflict’s true source (Ephesians 6:12). According to God’s Word, we’re really not fighting other people; our real enemy is Satan and his “unseen spiritual forces of wickedness.”
• Lay down human weapons (2 Corinthians 10:4–5). When we try to meet our own needs, working independently of God, we tend to use what the Apostle Paul called weapons of the flesh. These include: manipulation, gossip, slander, ridicule, threats, blame, nagging, deception, and silence. When we use them, we end up in an “evil for evil” cycle, and that’s like trying to fight a skunk with “stink” — everybody loses!
• Learn to use spiritual weapons (2 Corinthians 10:4). The Bible tells us that prayer is a powerful spiritual weapon. After we put on the whole armor of God, we’re to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” (Ephesians 6:18 NIV).

One Year On

Its nena's one year this Saturday.
So many thoughts come to mind as I think about this one year.
How far we have come, all the changes, the people I have lost-nena and aji both.
Having packed my family up and moved to Lautoka.
 Jitoko now has a job.
Jaydon is walking running and talking like the little genius that he is.
We see dad every second day, everyday now that Jaydon is being dropped there.
I was thinking about this last night after a minor argument with dad.
Well it wasn't really an argument.
They were fighting and its hard for me to have Jaydon around there with all this fighting and grumbling, I don't want him growing up in that kind of environment.
Anyway it occurred to me, what if something happens to daddy.
What would I have to say for myself.
What effort did I make in trying to minister to him.
I keep praying God save him, God save him.
But how do I minister to him as a Christian one of those people that Jesus commanded to: "Go ye therefore into old the world and preach the Gospel." My prayer has since changed to Lord show me how to minister to my daddy.
Lord give me the words to say.
There's so much hatred in that house, so much anger, so much bitterness thats why they only see that bad in others.
And the only thing that came to mind was: "Ask God to replace that hatred with Love."
Now I pray Lord give me that opportunity to say this.

All this Time

Ipod crashed this morning time for a new one but have this song stuck in my head.
A Britt Nicole one that I downloaded on Friday.
Really inspires for a new week:



All this time
From the first tear cry
'Til today's sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there
You were always there
It was You and I
You've been walking with me all this time
You've been walking with me all this time


I like it because it reminds me that many years ago as a child when I would run crying to God... All this time right until today he's still walking with me.  Every single moment between 20years later God is still walking with me.  Walking with me all this time.  From the very first cry..that really hits the right chords.  All these years and I'm still going because of him.  He's still walking with me all this time and for the next 20years he'll still be walking with me. Amazing! Thats our God. You've been walking with me all this time Lord. If I am succesful today. its because of you. If I have everything I could possibly want/need today Lord, its because of you. All because you've been walking with me all this time!

If

If people are not talking to me there's nothing much I can do about it

If people want to stay mad at me there's nothing  much I can do about it

If people hold things against me there's nothing much that I can do about it

I should move on and live my life as if I have no idea.

It saddens me, why do I let it get it?

Why should I let it bother me?

I will live my life. I have nothing to lose. Its there loss.

Lord give me strength to endure this in the way you want me to.

Show me your way father.

Guide me in your truth.

There really is nothing much that I can do about it except to trust in you and love and take care of my two boys.

Cynic in Life

Interesting Read I found today!
 Never allow life's disappointments to make you cynical.
 If you live long enough people will disappoint you, including your family

Learning to Love difficult People

It is possible as long as it is up to you.

Four methods Jesus modeled when he encountered difficult people:

• Realize you can't please everybody. Even God can't do that! Refuse to play games (Matthew 22:18).

• Learn to say no to unrealistic expectations. Confront them by "speaking the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15 NIV).

• NEVER retaliate (Matthew 5:38-39). It only lowers you to their level.

• Pray for them (Matthew 5:44). It will help both of you. Let God speak to them.

Never Accuse

Found this quote today: 

Never accuse in someone what you excuse in yourself.

It comes from the story of David when he went to Nathan the priest and Nathan told him about a crime someone had committed against someone else.

David quickly judged stating the person should pay fourfold not realising Nathan was speaking about him.

In the end David himself had to pay the fourfold for the sin he committed with Bathsheba and killing Uraiah

His first kid died, his heir to the throne after that was killed, his daughter was raped by her brother and one other.

Imagine that, we quickly speak out against what other people have done without actually realising what skeletons we have hidden in our closet. 

Those skeletons damn us to the same damnation we've spoken against other people.  

The wise man waits and chills out

The modern day version of a wise man lets his anger cool down (Proverbs 29:11)
Love it.
Totally lets you think about anger and how you need to react in a cool, calm and collected manner.
Take time out to think it through. Do not make decisions when emotional. Sentences I have been hearing for the last two weeks. Like a triple confirmation.

Utterly Amazed

After 1 whole year of waiting.
God has finally answered our prayers.
Jitoko got a job and not just a job but the Datec job.
So utterly amazed by your goodness Lord.
Learnt this week that God may not have said no but was saying wait.
One whole year of waiting.
Has taught us to be persistent and thankful and patient over and over and over again
Thank you Jesus!

Just want to Sing

Just want to sing you a love song
tell the world how much I really love you
Glorify your name
Thank you Jesus
You are so amazing.
Jitoko got the job today.
To you be the glory Jesus.

Why were teens allowed?

Why were teens given access to this in the first place?
Is this what the world is coming to?
Encouraging teenagers to date and that too find dates online?
I worry about what the world will be like when my little boy becomes a teenager.
Where are the parents of these teenagers?
What are they doing?
What are we teaching young people today?
Dating App suspends teen access

Excerpt: Skout, with more than five million subscribers, is the largest location-based dating app. It was originally aimed at adults but added a separate service for 13- to 17-year-olds last year after kids started using the app appalling!

I need Peace

I said to God just now.
Lord I really need to hear from you.
I turned my eyes and saw this on my workmates skype update. Amazing.
This is exactly what I need:
"The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts. {Haggai 2: 9}"

On the Phone

Jaydon picked up the phone this morning and started dialing.

He holds it to his ear and goes "Ju", "Ju"

after a while he looks at me and goes. Oh man, Ju gone

Brought me to my knees in tears

By way of this email Harry and I are asking for your forgiveness for everything that we have said and done to hurt you and Jitoko. We spoke to Jitoko this morning. We are giving you back the car and cancelling all monies owed to us for the payments we have made. It’s our prayer that you both will forgive us and release us so that we can carry on with what God has called us to do. We don’t want to stand in the way of what has God has in store for the three of you. We love you guys.

WWJD

When so and so said to me last night you gotta think, What would Jesus do?
Let it all go and don't hold any ill feeling or anger or bitterness or hatred in your heart or God will not be able to move. let it go and give it to God
The picture of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane keeps coming to mind.
When he kept asking God to take away his cup of suffering and then finally he submitted to God saying that it be God's will.
I don't know what God's will is in this situation but I know that I can't afford to do anything out of God's will.
I know that I'd rather be in the will of God with God beside me more than anything in this world

Feeling Foolish

Now that its all said and done
I have this overwhelming sense of foolishness creeping into my head.
Yet again I've been made to look like the bad one when all I wanted was what is mine.
No wonder I spent 9 years of my life trying to to live so far away and have nothing to do with them.
Why is it so difficult to be included in this family?
Why do they shove me so far out and then live me out to dry as and when it pleases them.
Now when I am trying with everything in me to just come back and be there I'm judged, bossed, roughed up and shoved around.
When are they going to realise that I have a family of my own, that that is my husband and that is my son and its not just me anymore but my family that they're doing these things to.
Is it ever going to get any easier?
Lord you called us back here, you placed this in our heart.
Why doesn't it just work out?
For how long Lord?
When are they going to stop judging, criticising, second guessing every little thing relating to us.
Lord it doesn't help that Jitoko has not got a job yet.
How long Lord? How long?

Turn not your face away from us Lord but let your light shine upon us and smile down on.
Father if this is your will for us.

Crying Inside

For the last three days if anybody could see me crying on the bus.
Couldn't keep all that crying inside so tears would stream down my face.
If only people on the bus could see me.
All these emotions going on inside of me.
One thing stood out clear, a friend saying: "Do not make any decision when you are full of emotion"
I thought to myself, wow. That means not to say anything, not to think anything, not to do anything.
The thinking anything was hard because the entire time all these things going through my head.
And the only thing that I kept praying was:
"Ok Lord, if it brings you glory.
If it brings you glory that we go through this
Than to you be the glory.
If it brings you glory that they do this to us
Then to you be the glory.
If walking away from our own car brings you glory
Then OK Lord, to you be the glory. because here we are as a family, to give you glory"
Even in the early hours of the morning, I would remember something that was said and then think, how could they? why? Ok Lord if it brings you glory that they be able to do that to us, then ok, to your be the glory.
At one point, maybe after midnight a though came across my mind.
Lord I'm tired of all this walking away.
People have stepped all over us and done all sorts of things to us at FDB, Shaheed, the gang at home, and now with the car and you're asking us to walk away.
Why do we have to keep walking away?
How long do we have to keep walking away?
Why won't you do something to them?
Why do we have to walk away.
Ok Lord, if it gives you glory that we walk away.
Then I forgive right now, let go and walk away.
 Then I really had to Lord go by saying ok Lord if our car was never for us, then today all that money we have spent on it, I say thank you for giving us that opportunity to have a car, if that season is over and it was never meant then I say thank you Lord I walk away from all of it even the money we spent on payments for it and if it was ok for them to have it for the few thousands they spent on it then ok Lord.
To you be the glory.

Pulled the world from underneath You

This was a terrible week.
I went through a whole lot of moments.
Most of them being overwhelmed.
It began with things at work and then things relating to family and then took a real big nose dive where many times I had to sit down and say
"Lord teach me to trust you".
The words that kept coming to my head were "Take my burden for it is light"
I had to keep praying :"Jesus take my burden, its too heavy for me, give me your burden because it is light. T
each me to trust you.
Show me that you are in this
When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that is stronger than me"
I was overwhelmed alot this week.
Yesterday I was broken to a point I almost lost my sanity.
I was so broken I kept waking up after midnight crying.
Emotions that hurt, emotions that broke me at the very core of my being.
People who had stepped in to help us in our moment of need were suddenly turning the tables on us and holding our car ransom.
Talking about legal documents and legal advise.
And all I could think about was how could they do this?
Does a sister take a sister to court?
Do people with money bully people who are struggling all because they could afford to?
Why do people covert?
Of all the cars that they could buy from this whole country why did they have it in for ours?
All under the name that they would help us out?
In my anger and my frustration I said thinigs.
I almost hated them to hell.
I wished that somebody would someday do to them what they did to us.
I wished that somebody in my family would have something taken from them like this just so they could know what it felt like
It was a moment of betrayal, a moment of the world being pulled from underneath me
A moment of how can they do this to us?
Was this their intention all along?
Like stealing from the poor and all because they could afford to.
I went through a whole lot of emotions and said a whole lot of things in my anger.
In my anger I told them, the wanted it so bad, they could have it.
Then I put the phone down it was like everything inside of me fell apart.
I sat down and prayed that Lord if this was what you wanted for us then here I was letting go.
Then someone said to me, you gotta release them and not hold anything towards them and just pray and leave it to God.
She said to me you gotta think what would Jesus do?
And I laughed thing Jesus would not even be in my situation
He would not have people in his family gang up against him like that.
He would not have somebody take something that belonged to him from him like that.
But I sat down and let it go and prayed.
All night long no matter how many times in the night I woke up remembering different parts of the conversation.
Parts of it making me hate my family? making me question why they would do this? making me feel even worse because they were doing this to Jitoko.
Then I'd sit up and pray and forgive and release.
Ever feel like someone had just taken the world from under your feet
That was how I felt
Today I think to myself, I don't ever wish this on anyone. its not a nice feeling. Not even for my enemies. I hope nobody ever has to go through something like this. ever!