Crying Inside

For the last three days if anybody could see me crying on the bus.
Couldn't keep all that crying inside so tears would stream down my face.
If only people on the bus could see me.
All these emotions going on inside of me.
One thing stood out clear, a friend saying: "Do not make any decision when you are full of emotion"
I thought to myself, wow. That means not to say anything, not to think anything, not to do anything.
The thinking anything was hard because the entire time all these things going through my head.
And the only thing that I kept praying was:
"Ok Lord, if it brings you glory.
If it brings you glory that we go through this
Than to you be the glory.
If it brings you glory that they do this to us
Then to you be the glory.
If walking away from our own car brings you glory
Then OK Lord, to you be the glory. because here we are as a family, to give you glory"
Even in the early hours of the morning, I would remember something that was said and then think, how could they? why? Ok Lord if it brings you glory that they be able to do that to us, then ok, to your be the glory.
At one point, maybe after midnight a though came across my mind.
Lord I'm tired of all this walking away.
People have stepped all over us and done all sorts of things to us at FDB, Shaheed, the gang at home, and now with the car and you're asking us to walk away.
Why do we have to keep walking away?
How long do we have to keep walking away?
Why won't you do something to them?
Why do we have to walk away.
Ok Lord, if it gives you glory that we walk away.
Then I forgive right now, let go and walk away.
 Then I really had to Lord go by saying ok Lord if our car was never for us, then today all that money we have spent on it, I say thank you for giving us that opportunity to have a car, if that season is over and it was never meant then I say thank you Lord I walk away from all of it even the money we spent on payments for it and if it was ok for them to have it for the few thousands they spent on it then ok Lord.
To you be the glory.